


Caffeine

by s7nnyflowers



Series: Ow in O.W.C.A. [2]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Deaf Character, M/M, One Night Stand, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, i guess, kinda a prequel, there's no sign language actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 19:58:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8070676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s7nnyflowers/pseuds/s7nnyflowers
Summary: "We met at an Evil Genius Expo in Seattle and well, me and Peter, we just instantly disliked each other."Agent Peter the Panda is to meet his new nemesis. However, after a mix up at O.W.C.A. a summer night in Seattle could really heat up.If you're not up for a make out session please see the end notes.





	

Peter adjusted his thick goggles in the elevator. His code name was Panda. The man riding in the elevator had ebony hair and light blue eyes. He was Chinese and exactly 6 foot 5. Over his pale complexion he wore almost perfectly matching concealer. If you didn't know Agent Panda you would have no way to know he was wearing makeup at all.

Many of the evil scientists pitched in to rent out this hotel for the duration of the Evil Genius Expo. O.W.C.A. had given him a letter saying he would be receiving a consistent nemesis. It held his name, Miguel Ortega, _Professor Mystery._ His soon to be nemesis was six feet three inches tall. There were no pictures in his file, no other background information. The only other thing they gave Agent Panda to work with was his room number and floor.

Peter wasn’t entirely sure about how the nemesis thing worked, he had done his fair share of thwarting in the past but usually it was a one time thing and then straight to jail. With a nemesis it was a constant battle between one good and one evil. In spite of himself he was a little excited. In this situation he’d be facing off against someone who, in the eyes of the agency, was kind of a super villain. Peter fixed his tie and brushed the nonexistent dust off of his suit.

He touched his hair to make sure it was still as slicked back as it was when he left for the mission. It wasn’t, but he did walk all this way in the humidity so it couldn’t really be helped. He pulled out a hand mirror and quickly looked at his face and neck. Luckily the waterproof concealer wasn’t failing him. If there was one thing he didn’t want it was to frighten his new nemesis.

Or worse _disgust_ them. The elevator stopped at the third floor and he walked out carefully. This was it. He pulled out his brown fedora and settled it on his head. Once he had the O.W.C.A. assigned fedora on, any doors that weren’t locked before clicked securely.

Agent Panda stopped at the door that matched the number he was given and took a deep breath. He kicked the door in forcefully only to find that it had already been unlocked. The door slammed against the wall and shook in protest. Agent Panda walked into the room, his face like stone. His black eyebrows rose high onto his head when he saw a man, he had no dark mask.

The scientist was frozen in place, holding onto a phone and staring at him blankly. He couldn’t be much older than middle aged but couldn’t pass for anything under his mid thirties. Peter stopped in the doorway staring at the man in the white lab coat. Like statues, neither of the two moved.

“Uhh,” The brunette spoke, finally breaking the silence, “change my order to full sized pepperoni pizza instead and,” he covered up the end of the phone he was talking into, “breadsticks?” He asked, Agent Panda blinked and looked behind him to see no one. Peter pointed a finger at himself, “Yes you, do you want breadsticks?” Peter blinked and slowly nodded, “And an order of breadsticks. Thank you so much.” He sing songed into the phone.

Peter felt his chest tighten with embarrassment. This had never happened to him during a one off mission before. The man walked up to Peter quickly. Were they starting now? Peter held up his fists and the man walked past him.

“Yeah, take it easy big guy.” He snipped as he closed his room door.

Peter was now thoroughly confused, he looked at the man. He wasn't much shorter than himself and had a large nose. It wasn't impossible to think that he was six feet three inches. Peter reached into his back pocket and pulled out a notepad. He flipped to the second page and cleared his throat. 

The man looked up at him and Peter held out the notebook, **Professor Mystery?**

The man looked up at Agent Panda and squinted, “I have no idea who that is.” Peter grumbled irritably and pulled the pen out of his notepad and the man gasped startling him, “Oh no, they’re your nemesis aren’t they?” Peter was surprised by his perception and nodded, he let out another overly dramatic gasp, “It’s your first day isn’t it?” The Chinese man hesitated before nodding and the man ran over the the hotel phone, “This is terrible! Hang on I’ll get this straightened out.” He picked up the phone and a sheet of paper with numbers to call. Peter looked down at the man, “Uh please,” he gestured to the nearby chair, “sit.”

Peter looked all around the room, and then sat down on a nearby chair. This was definitely a villain’s floor, there was even a machine by the window. The man desperately trying to find the right number was an evil genius, so why was he so sincere?

He wrote in big letters on his notepad and held it up, **Who R U?**

The man squinted at the note and smiled up at him brightly, “I’m Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Nice to meet you Agent..” he gestured to Peter.

Peter flipped to the first page that had the word **Peter** written there with an arrow pointing to him and a picture of a panda drawn in the corner.

Heinz looked at the paper, “Agent Peter the Panda then?” Peter nodded and Heinz dialed the phone, “I like the doodle. Strategic!” He said before draping an arm over his face to look mysterious. The secret agent snorted in a half chuckle that made Dr. Doofenshmirtz perk up. “Yes, hello. I was wondering if there was a Professor here that was supposed to meet his nemesis during the expo?” He paused for a moment and looked up at Peter, “No? Are you positive? Maybe there's a doctor or-" he paused and tapped his foot nervously, “I see. Yes, yes thank you.” Doofenshmirtz hung up the phone and smiled, “Sorry about your first day of being nemeses.” He said with an apologetic shrug.

Peter frowned frustratedly and grumbled to himself, he clicked his pen again.

“No, it’s not!” Heinz said and Peter blinked under his goggles. Heinz paused and pointed at the notepad, “You were going to write, ‘It’s fine,’ weren’t you?” Peter clicked his pen closed and nodded. Doofenshmirtz smiled, “My nemesis also doesn’t speak. I’m pretty good with faces.” Crossing his arms angrily and grabbing his elbows Heinz puffed out hot air, “That isn’t acceptable, if they’re a member of L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N. you should let me know. I can get him reported!” Peter clicked his pen again, “That’s right! Snitch!”

Peter let out a low chuckle and held up a note, **No known affiliation.**

Heinz pouted and nodded, “Well, he’s not going to have any with L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N.” Peter laughed again, opening himself up a little more. The brunette perked up, “I like your laugh.”

Peter looked up at Heinz and tilted his head. There was a loud knock at the door and Heinz popped up from the mattress. As the evil scientist walked over to the door, Peter became immediately more interested in him. Doofenshmirtz seemed to be almost completely unphased by the fact he was helping an Agent. Panda glanced back over at the bed and saw a black wallet.

“Yes, Doofenshmirtz that’s me!” Heinz said to the man at the door.

The pizza man looked at Heinz with boredom and held out the food, “That’ll be $17.60.”

Doofenshmirtz nodded and dug into his pockets, “Oh I just had my-” Peter peered around the door frame to get a look at the delivery man. With Doofenshmirtz's slouch, Peter was almost a good head taller than him. Panda handed Heinz his wallet, “Oh, thank you Peter.” Heinz opened up his wallet and gave the man at the door a twenty and two singles, “That’s including tip.”

Doofenshmirtz said as he took his food from the man. Doofenshmirtz backed away from the door and Peter closed it for him.

Looking over his shoulder at Peter, he grinned, “Do you like pizza or are you just a breadsticks kind of man?” 

Peter walked back to his notepad and quickly wrote, **Vegetarian.**

Heinz groaned and gave him the bag of breadsticks. Peter smirked and followed Heinz to a table with a T.V. on the other side of the room. Pulling out a stack of paper thin plates he had brought, he took two slices of pizza. After a second helping the two had finished eating. Heinz wiped his hands off with a napkin and looked at Peter.

“Please do not tell me they’re your first nemesis?” Peter nodded. Heinz groaned dramatically, “So you don’t even know how the game works?” Peter shook his head and Heinz looked over at the pizza box and his inator. “Here, I’ll show you!” Walking over to his inator, Peter watched Heinz as he stood in front of it proudly. He looked at Peter, “Okay you see the inator and then...” Heinz stopped himself and thought for a moment, “I’m sure the execution changes scientist to scientist but after that I usually trap my nemesis.”

Digging into his pockets, Dr. Doofenshmirtz pulled out a remote and pushed the purple button on it. Two metal restraints ripped through the fabric of Peter's chair and held his arms to it. The suddenness of the action caught Peter off guard as he gasped. Peter’s previously friendly look vanished as he looked up at Heinz, glaring through dark goggles.

Laughing to himself, Doofenshmirtz excitedly pointed at the couch, “Nice isn’t it? All the rooms came with a trap couch.” He turned to his inator, “Then I’ll usually backstory,” Agent Panda shifted in his chair and allowed his fedora to slip into his lap. He used his upper legs to carry it to his hand as discreetly as possible, “but this inator doesn’t really have one. I call it the Cool-inator, it’s just supposed to make me look really cool tomorrow at the Expo.” Panda pulled a small tool out from the black band on his fedora and began to apply it to his restraints. “At this point you should be trying to escape or escaping.” Heinz looked at Peter, “Got it? It’s easy!”

Peter had freed one hand and was in the process of freeing the other. He kept his arm in the already broken restraints, to make Doofenshmirtz continue to ramble. This was thrilling.

“I don’t know how long back storying usually takes but we all do it.” Heinz walked back over to Agent Panda and grinned, “Usually, you’re supposed to learn on the job but I do this everyday so it’s just going through the motions.” Doofenshmirtz bragged. A smug smile crept onto Peter’s lips as he felt the restraint on his other arm loosen. “What-what do you think, easy enough?” The Chinese man looked up at Heinz and nodded.

He pulled one arm out of its restraint dramatically and stood up. As he turned his body he lifted the chair through the air and threw it at the inator as best he could. Heinz gasped as his inator was crushed by the couch.

While Peter’s look was more in excitement and adrenaline Heinz scanned the Agent skeptically, “I-I was gonna release you.” He said holding up the remote he already had back in his hands. Blinking once, Peter slouched slightly in shame. He supposed that it was an educational lesson, “That’s good though because I wasn’t going to do this part earlier!” Heinz said trying to make Peter relax, “So you’ve destroyed something that your nemesis has worked hard on so you’re going to have a,” Lifting both hands up, Doofenshmirtz threw a fist at Peter “fight on your hands.”

The Agent blocked the punch and Heinz threw another one that Peter caught in his hand. Doofenshmirtz smiled and kneed Peter, obviously holding back some. Letting go to avoid the attack Peter went wide eyed, the idea of the fight wasn’t to hurt one and other. It was to disorient. In spite of appearances and good deeds Heinz Doofenshmirtz really was a professional.

Peter threw a punch as well and Heinz deflected it with two hands. Smirking, Peter waited for Heinz to throw another punch. When Dr. Doofenshmirtz did throw another punch, he caught his hand again. This time, however, pulling Heinz around himself and into the wall behind him. He held onto Doofenshmirtz’s hand and held him against the wall.

Doofenshmirtz growled and tried to step on Peter’s foot. Peter slid his foot just barely away and Heinz’s heel slipped. He yelped and grabbed onto Peter’s shoulder with one hand. Looking up at Peter nervously, Doofenshmirtz grinned.

“Good job, Agent Panda. You know how to be a good nemesis.” Heinz said, sounding slightly out of breath, “You’re really strong,” He said looking up at the taller man. Humming proudly, Peter let go of Heinz’s hand, “Haven’t gotten my balance yet Peter!” He cried and held onto Peter’s other shoulder.

Jolting in surprise, Peter made a worried attempt to catch Doofenshmirtz, holding him up by the small of his back. Heinz held onto Agent Panda tightly as he got both of his feet flat on the ground.

Glancing down at the floor as though to see it move, Doofenshmirtz looked up at Peter and laughed nervously, “So, uh, goggles?” Peter paused for a moment and shrugged. He was a special Agent and they were supposed to aid his vision as well as work as a special communicationizer. Other than that and the aesthetics to the "Panda" look he really didn't have a reason to wear them. "Oh! Um, th-then can I?"

Agent Panda grimaced thinking of Heinz’s reaction to his eyes. Cursing himself for not applying the concealer under his goggles and Heinz for being so persuasive, he nodded. Doofenshmirtz hesitantly pushed his thumbs under the elastic of his goggles, while his other fingers cupped the lenses. Pulling them off of his face with both hands, Heinz blinked up at Peter. Doofenshmirtz put the goggles in his lab coat. Opening his cerulean eyes, Peter raised a questioning eyebrow at Heinz.

“Oh wow,” the evil scientist said reaching up to Peter’s face. Here it comes, Peter thought closing his eyes tightly, “It’s uh, vit-ill-i-go right?” Gently running his thumb over one of Peter’s eyelids, he circled the paler skin with the pad of his thumb. “It’s so pretty,” As he moved his hand away from Peter’s eye. Peter opened them again in disbelief.

Never once had he been told his skin condition was pretty. Realizing what he said, Heinz turned his face away from Peter and grinned sheepishly. Peter smirked and pulled Heinz closer to himself with his leverage. Before Heinz could question him Peter caught the doctor’s lips with his own. Eyes shot wide opened as the space between them closed.

The evil scientist was caught off guard at the sudden act. Peter’s lips were _so_ plush and his kiss was slow as he took to sucking at Heinz’s top lip. Heinz’s breath hitched and he was unsure what do with his hands. He held them close to his chest a little nervous to be as forward. However, after his mind took the time to play catch up Doofenshmirtz wrapped his arms around Peter’s neck. Pulling the agent against him and pushing himself more into the wall as he started to kiss back, eyes fluttering closed.

The suddenness of the intimacy sent chills down his spine. Peter knew how unprofessional this was and thought for a moment about pulling back and apologizing. However, when Heinz moaned into his mouth it sent a feeling of reassurance through his core. Peter moved his hand down from Heinz’s back to his ass, he began to spread him through his pants. He hoped to get some kind of positive reaction to what he was doing.

Heinz let out a hiss in pleasure, caught in a sort of daze. Peter took Doofenshmirtz’s bottom lip in his teeth pulling gently before running his tongue over it. Doofenshmirtz let his fingers entangle themselves in Peter’s dark hair, gel crunching against his fingers, as he allowed the man entrance to his mouth. Agent Panda tasted like the breadsticks they had earlier and cinnamon toothpaste. Heinz’s large nose was pushed against Peter’s cheek as they continued to kiss.

Doofenshmirtz's lips were slightly chapped but Peter didn’t mind as he continued to kiss him. Something about Heinz drove him crazy. Wrapping one gangly leg around Peter’s hips, Heinz held him closer. Peter let out an involuntary groan before breaking away for air. Staring into Heinz's eyes, Peter could visibly see how much he was getting off to just the kiss. He was bright red, hair tossed around by being up against the wall. He was so hot. Peter wanted more from him, but...

A switch flipping inside his mind and he was flooded with shame. No. Not shame, what settled inside of him was dread. He shouldn't have let himself be so impulsive he was supposed to be Agent Panda. The genuine man in his arms didn't know what he could be like. Heinz looked wide eyed at Peter, lips glistening in the low light from saliva. Peter looked down, his ears reddening deeply. Doofenshmirtz tried to get his racing heart to slow down as he tried to dissect the situation. Did Peter think he made him uncomfortable?

“Peter,” Heinz began sheepishly, “I, it’s okay I liked...” Peter looked down at Doofenshmirtz, expression daunting. Blood boiled hot in his cheeks and he silenced himself. All confidence fell from his voice, "l-l-l-liked-"

Peter hummed apologetically and Doofenshmirtz looked up at him again. His eyes were big and wet, he clearly thought he had done something wrong. Damn he was cute. Peter smiled over Heinz and raised an eyebrow. Doofenshmirtz slowly nodded in response, he looked somehow more unsure than when they started. Planting one lingering kiss on Heinz’s lips, he began to kiss Doofenshmirtz’s neck earning quiet gasps. Peter growled against his pale skin, pleased with the reaction he was getting.

Tilting his head to make himself more accessible to Peter Heinz choaked out, “If I wrap my other leg around you can you ho-hold me?”

Once Peter hummed in the affirmative, Doofenshmirtz wrapped his other leg around Peter. The secret agent used both hands and the wall to hold up Heinz as he continued to kiss him. Doofenshmirtz’s vision becoming slightly blurred at the edges as he could feel hot arousal in his stomach. He fumbled with the buttons on the front of Peter’s jacket. Doofenshmirtz allowed his own lab coat to fall off of his shoulders when he got the front of Peter’s suit unbuttoned. He pulled the suit jacket off of his shoulders abruptly. 

Peter purred at Heinz’s eager attitude and made a trail of kisses up to Heinz’s ear. Peter smirked against the evil scientist’s skin before wrapping his mouth around the edge of Heinz’s ear. Agent Panda bit Heinz’s ear roughly. Heinz cried out in a mix of feelings that were explicitly lewd, scratching Peter’s back through his white shirt. Heinz arched his back off the wall directly into Peter at the sensation.

Sucking at Heinz’s ear, tasting his metallic blood, Peter let himself relax when Doofenshmirtz whimpered in pleasure. Pain is okay. Good to know. The drusselsteinian rolled his hips against Peter as he continued to nip and suck at his ear.

“Peter,” he mumbled, “pl-please.”

Peter growled and lifted Heinz away from the wall with ease. He laid Doofenshmirtz flat on the bed under him and kissed him more desperately. Letting his hands wander his thinner body, pushing a hand under the waistline of Heinz’s black pants. Agent Panda wasted no time before he began pushing his fingers against Heinz's heat through his underwear hungrily. Dr. Doofenshmirtz writhed in pleasure under him.

Heinz looked up at Peter, a look of lust tormenting him. Knowing what this one nighter stood for he began to internally panic. Doofenshmirtz wanted more then anything to let this happen, and let the night take it’s course. It was just one night in Seattle. The pleasure and confusion rendering him helpless to the Agent over him.

This wasn’t fair, he couldn’t be doing this to Peter not when he knew exactly who he really wanted to do this to him. But even that was confusing. Even that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to Perr-Peter!

“Wait,” Heinz said loudly and Peter halted his actions.

Doofenshmirtz sat up awkwardly on his elbows and looked up at Peter. Panting heavily, he was completely disheveled, the Chinese man’s hand still in his pants. Heinz raised a shaky hand to the side of Peter’s face and held it there so he could look at him. Peter’s previous look of lust now replaced with concern.

Doofenshmirtz could feel his eyes stinging, “You’re so beautiful,” Heinz said. Peter looked surprised by the unprecedented compliment, “and you're so _good,_ and” Doofenshmirtz continued, “you want me?” He turned away from Peter, “You’re a good nemesis and you’re amazing at this but I-” Heinz hiccuped and covered his face with his hands, feeling tears fall down the side of his face, “I can’t.” Peter’s eyes widened when he realized Heinz was crying, really crying. Heinz fell onto his back and turned away as best he could, “This is so useless, I’m sorry Peter. I’m so stupid and I led you on and I’m--”

He let out a loud sob and Peter sat up over him. The Agent rushed to get off of him, trying to make his movements the least awkward he could. He lifted Heinz up to lean against him as he sobbed.

“I’m so _rry._ ” he hiccuped, gripping onto Peter’s shirt tightly. Shaking his head, Peter continued to shush Doofenshmirtz, doing his best to gently rock him, “You’re, you’re going to make me into a hilarious story. I-I know you are, I know that I’m stu-”

Peter made a angered noise at Heinz as he continued to shush him. Rubbing Heinz’s back tentatively he was unsure of what to do, this had never happened to him before. It felt like someone had grabbed onto the threads of his heart and knotted them. Of course Peter was aware that Heinz wasn’t upset at his actions, he just wished he could blame someone for the sobbing man in his arms. Heinz shook pitifully in Peter’s arms, hugging onto his wide torso. Doofenshmirtz continued to mutter about being selfish.

“Peter, can, can you stay with me puh- _lease,_ ” Doofenshmirtz whimpered, “I need someone here with me.” He managed between sobs.

Peter nodded, rubbing Heinz’s back and shushing him. The man’s tear’s making the front of his shirt wet. Smiling weakly at Heinz, Peter closed his eyes, Doofenshmirtz really needed someone and his current nemesis obviously wasn’t cutting it. He wondered for a moment who Heinz’s nemesis could be.

_**END OF STORY** _

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I was a little sorry. I really do. So that's what (in my AU) REALLY happened that night in Seattle. 
> 
> You all can probably tell but my interpretation of Professor Mystery are based on DoctorV and GrayceAdams' versions. I do have a bunch of my own headcanons for him that differ from theirs, but I am trash for their panda shrine fics. I highly recommend them! 
> 
> As I develop Professor Mystery (whom is drastically different from theirs) and Peter I hope you'll see more of my headcanons and ideas! I just wanted to make sure I gave credit where it's due! Two major differences that can be seen in THIS story is that 1. My human Peter has vitiligo and 2. My human Peter is not colorblind!
> 
> Okay! So if you want none of that smooch stuff once you get to "Realizing what he said Heinz turned his face away from Peter and grinned sheepishly." you can skip to.. uh maybe "This wasn't fair..."


End file.
